Thursday: The Roundup

MLB: Twins 8, Tampa Bay 3 - The first four Twins hitters of the game scored. Not to get too technical, but this is what's known in baseball as "a pretty darn good start, doncha know." (Wait - not in baseball. In a bar. In Sauk Centre.) Anyway, Nick Blackburn went seven innings and gave up just two runs, and you put together that first inning at the plate for the Twins with a good outing for Blackburn, and you've got yourself a pretty good game, right there. The Rays still haven't won a game in which they've scored three runs or fewer, so getting four right from the off is a pretty good recipe for success.

Champions League: Manchester United 1 Arsenal 0 (Semifinal, 1st leg) - The scoreline remains close, with the second leg (at Arsenal) yet to be played. The match, however, was not close. I cannot claim to have watched the entire thing, as I spent most of it covering my eyes in fright. Every time I peeked through my fingers, United were bearing down on the Arsenal goal, sometimes shooting up to five different balls at one time. Arsenal goalkeeper Manuel Almunia spent the whole match charging desperately across his goal, making improbable saves with his face. (I didn't have the volume up, either, as the desperately-awful commentary team of Derek Rae and Tommy Smyth was doing the game. At one point - I swear this is true - Smyth said the following: "The European Cup is the one competition that [ManU manager] Alex Ferguson thinks his team should have done better in. He talks about it all the time." MANCHESTER UNITED ARE THE CURRENT CHAMPIONS AND HAVE WON IT TWICE IN THE LAST TEN YEARS, YOU FARGIN' MORON. HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE?) Anyway, John O'Shea scored the lone goal, though United could easily have had four or five. The second leg is next week, and Arsenal will need to score at least one (and if ManU score, then Arsenal will need at least three.)

Wednesday: The Roundup

MLB: Twins 4, Tampa Bay 3 - We've all grown to completely trust Joe Nathan. When he came into the game in the top of the ninth, Twins leading 3-2 thanks mostly to a first-inning Justin Morneau homer, I was ready to turn off the TV; he's been that automatic. On his first pitch, Ben Zobrist homered to left to tie the game. Well. Nathan had to work out of a jam to keep the game tied going into the bottom of the inning, but the Twins bailed him out. A Jose Morales single, a sacrifice by Nick Punto, an infield single by Denard Span, and a Brendan Harris walk loaded the bases. Morneau rocketed a line-drive one-hopper to second, but the Rays second baseman couldn't handle the hot hop, giving the slugger time to beat out the back half of the double play. The fielder's choice drove in the needed run, giving the Twins the victory. Not pretty - but the Twins will take them any way they come.

NFL: Brett Favre released by Jets - Jiminy christmas... here we go again. The Jets dropped Favre off of their retired/inactive list, presumably because Favre asked to be let go after New York drafted Mark Sanchez over the weekend. Favre also came out with a quote claiming that he had no plans to return "at this time," which is LOOK AT ME I NEED ATTENTION code for "no plans to return until the summer." Sadly, the Vikings - Sage Rosenfels or no - remain a logical destination. Get ready for a long summer, folks. No matter how many times we beat this to death with a shovel and bury it behind the woodshed, it always seems to rise again.

Tuesday: The Roundup

MLB: Tampa Bay 7, Twins 1 - Monday is my day at Twinkie Town, so here's my recap of this one (as well as a now-slightly-out-of-date series preview.)

NHL: Niklas Backstrom named Vezina finalist - The Vezina Trophy (named for a Canadiens goaltender in the twenties who died of tuberculosis) is awarded annually to the league's top goaltender - making Backstrom an obvious candidate. The Wild netminder probably won't win, as the other two finalists are Boston's Tim Thomas (who had the best numbers in the league) and Columbus's Steve Mason (who will likely win Rookie of the Year but not this award). You'll notice both of those teams are playoff teams, while the Wild are on the driving range, and you'd be foolish to think that this won't affect the voting for this award. Still, it's a great honor for a deserving goalie. Now, if the Wild could just put some guys on the ice to help Backstrom out...

Monday: The Roundup

USL: Carolina 1, Thunder 0 - Minnesota's rocky start to 2009 continued, as the Railhawks beat the Thunder for the second time already this year. The Thunder have picked up just two points (of a possible 12) in their first four matches. Minnesota created virtually no chances in the match; a shot on the turn from outside the penalty area by Melvin Tarley in the first half was the only thing that troubled the Carolina goalkeeper. On defense, the Railhawks goal came from some comedic Minnesota defending; a cross fell to defender Brian Kallman in the box, who wound up and booted his clearance - right off of Jeremiah Bass. The ball rebounded to Carolina striker Brian Plotkin, who was standing around minding his own business on the penalty spot, and Plotkin beat Thunder keeper Nic Platter for a 1-0 lead in the 58th minute. After four matches on the road to begin the year, Minnesota finally limps home, and will open its season this Saturday against Vancouver - the team that knocked it out of the playoffs last season.

NFL: Vikings complete 2009 draft - The centerpiece of the draft class is first-rounder Percy Harvin, who is already inviting comparisons to Randy Moss, on the strength of these three factors: They were both drafted by the Vikings, fairly late in the first round. Both are speedy wide receivers. Both have a reputation as potheads. So: Harvin's either the new Moss, or a stoned version of Troy Williamson. Feel the excitement. The team also got gigantic tackle Phil Loadholt in the second round, helping to quiet those who wanted the team to pick an offensive lineman in Round 1. Loadholt should compete for the starting spot at right tackle, and anything that ends the Ryan Cook era in Minnesota is okay in my book. On Day 2, the Vikings got CB Asher Allen, LB Jasper Brinkley, and S Jamarca Sanford, and I think we can agree that all three have great names that would easily pass as a name for a private eye in a black-and-white movie.

RandBall: Weekend Links

It's that time again.

Friday: The Roundup

The Twins (slackers) were off again Thursday, so we're left with not much news again today. The biggest story is the Vikings' meeting with former Florida Gator and noted marijuana enthusiast Percy Harvin.

Harvin also seems to enjoy fighting, was so fragile in college that there was some question whether he was made out of glass, and is renowned for his stupidity - he apparently got 12 out of 50 on the Wonderlic, which would give him approximately the same score as a tic-tac-toe-playing chicken.

In other words: what's not to like?


Elsewhere, a random plague that affects only players with surnames beginning with 'B' is sweeping the Wild locker room. If Martin Skoula wasn't an unrestricted free agent, we would now make a joke about petitioning the state to change his name to "Martin Boula."

With that, we'll close 'er down for the weekend. The Twins are in Cleveland and need to get on some kind of winning track; the Thunder are at Charleston tonight and Carolina on Sunday, and could really use a win as well.

And that's about it; see you at RandBall tomorrow.

NBA Draft: LOLProspects #2

We're back again today with another edition of LOLProspects!



Blake Griffin: destined to be average in a southern city, as well?

[Edition #1]

Thursday: The Roundup

MLB: Boston 10, Twins 1 (Game 1, 7 innings) - Back to normal today, i.e. there were actually games played - but they certainly didn't go very well for the Twins. Tim Wakefield gave up just five hits in a seven-inning, rain-shortened win, and the Twins helped him out by repeatedly coming up empty when runners were on base. (Jason Kubel and Michael Cuddyer, both of whom popped out to first base with the bases loaded - we are looking in your direction.) As for Twins starter Scott Baker, all that's left is to decide what the best nickname is for the new Twins "ace": Scott Baker, Bomb Maker Scott "Home Run" Baker Scott "Waste of millions of dollars for a guy who consistently loses three or four baseballs a night, the useless twit" Baker After giving up two-run homers in three consecutive innings, any and all nicknames would be completely apt.

MLB: Boston 7, Twins 3 (Game 2) - Francisco Liriano wasn't much better in Game 2, giving up seven runs in four innings for his fourth consecutive loss. He's on pace for 34 losses this year, folks, and the way he's pitching I really think he has a shot to make it. Remember when the Twins had a "good, young" pitching staff? About that - would you settle for "young"? As for the hitters, they managed three measly runs against a guy (Brad Penny) who gave up eight to the hapless Orioles his last time out, so they can come in for some blame as well. The only bright side is that Guerrier, Ayala, and Mijares combined to throw four scoreless innings, and give up only one hit along the way. (Compared to the four runs Jose Morillo gave up in Game 1 - without getting a single out - I'd say that's progress.) Anyway, it was an awful day, capped off with some truly awful pitching and some awful hitting. (Good season so far, eh?)

NBA Draft: LOLProspects

So, it turns out that Spanish wunderkind Ricky Rubio may be declaring for this year's NBA Draft, after all. Rubio's a young point guard with great skills, and he could add a lot to the Timberwolves (who right now are depending on Bassy Telfair next year.)

Here's the closest you'll get to prospect analysis from TNABACG:



We're all about the numbers, here.

The Football: Liverpool 4 Arsenal 4

(Before I dive in: Arsenalist has video of the goals. Better to see for yourself than read what I have to say.)

I'm not sure how you could write the lede for a match report for this one, at least not in inverted pyramid style. It'd have to be something like this:

Andrei Arshavin scored four times for Arsenal, canceling out two goals each from Liverpool's Fernando Torres and Yossi Benayoun, as the teams drew 4-4 at Anfield.

But that leaves out so much - like how Arsenal, except for the four goals, were pretty much terrible, and were lucky to even be in the match. Except, you know, for the four goals.

Or how at least three of each team's goals were due to abjectly poor defending.

Or how Liverpool had to come from behind three times to get a draw, including scoring a goal in the 93rd minute.

Or how the home side desperately needed the point they got to keep their title hopes alive.

Or how a Russian midfielder, who's been at Arsenal for less than half a season and who supposedly needed time to adapt to the English game, managed to score four at Anfield, one of - apparently - only four guys to do so in the last six decades.

Or the video, of Arshavin's fourth goal, of commentator Jon Champion briefly losing it and screaming "FOOOOOUUUURRRRR!" to punctuate the strike.



It'll stand as one of the greatest games in Premier League history. One sentence can't describe that.

Wednesday: The Roundup

Rain, rain, go away
Come again the next time the Twins have to face Roy Halladay

Or something like that. Minnesota got rained out in Boston, which means they'll attempt to play a day-night doubleheader today. It probably won't happen - there's more rain in the forecast - which either means a game tomorrow, on a scheduled day off, or it means a trip later in the year for a single game in Boston.

At any rate, this may be the only thing that saves the Twins' bullpen - not having to pitch. Batters hit line drives on 0% of the pitches that you don't have to throw, is my philosophy. (Matt Guerrier's too, I bet.)


Meanwhile, over in St. Paul, Dougley Lamarr Risebrough held his final press conference, and he managed to only vaguely hint at his most deeply held belief ("Everyone's an idiot but meeee!"), so I suppose that qualifies as "going out with class." Video is over at the Star Tribune.

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Tuesday: The Non-Roundup

The Twins were off yesterday, so I spent the usual Twinkie Town Monday doing a little tongue-in-cheek posting, as well as posting some news. The quick recap:

• Jesse Crain is going on the DL, and will be replaced by everyone's favorite rotund lefty, Jose Mijares.
• Aaron Gleeman put together a good breakdown of Juan Morillo for the 10 out of 10 doctors who know nothing about Juan Morillo.
• Torii Hunter wants one more chance to annoy Twins fans.

Meanwhile, the Wild resigned John "JOHN SMASH" Scott, mainly because Scott is 6'8" and also cheap ($550K next year).

That's about it; the Twins are in Boston tonight at 6:00. Until tomorrow.

T-Wolves Blog: Off-Season Needs

Over at the T-Wolves Blog, I take a look at some of the team's off-season needs.

(It may go without saying that I got more and more pessimistic as I wrote, eventually concluding that the Wolves are up a creek without a paddle.)

Monday: The Roundup

MLB: Twins 3, Anaheim 1 - Glen Perkins has found the best solution to overcoming the Twins' putrid bullpen: hand the ball off to no one but Joe Nathan. For the third straight time, the lefty pitched eight innings, allowing just one run and five baserunners along the way. Perkins has an ERA of 1.50 this year, and has been absolutely the team's brightest spot so far this season. We salute Perkins for the victory. Also, Delmon Young has now walked in two straight games, so I'm pretty sure Young has been kidnapped by aliens, and is being poorly imitated by some creature wearing a Delmon Young suit. WE ARE ON TO YOU SPACE ENEMIES

NBA: Wolves hiring process possibly down to two candidates - Jerry Zgoda has the whole story at the Star Tribune, which I won't yank. Suffice it to say that one is from San Antonio (encouraging) and one is from Cleveland (less encouraging.)

Minnesota Wild: Goodbye, Dougley Lamarr

Finally, the reign of Dougley Lamarr over the good citizens of Rock Ridge has come to an end.

All right. I'm through being Mr. Goodbar.

Though I've taken my fair shots at Jacques Lemaire, it's clear that many of the problems that afflicted the Minnesota Wild were due to Doug Risebrough.

Risebrough was the one that refused to execute any kind of deal to help the team.

Risebrough was the one who screwed up draft pick after draft pick - and who traded those picks away, too, like they were worthless.

Risebrough was the one who drove free agents away; Pavol Demitra left for nothing, Brian Rolston left for next to nothing, Marian Gaborik is set to leave for nothing, and the team actually paid Mark Parrish gobs of money to go away. (Steve McAllister of the Globe and Mail points out that the same thing happened when Dougley was in Calgary: the dude drove or traded Doug Gilmour, Joel Otto, Gary Suter, and Al MacInnis away from the Flames as GM. )

But what led me to christen him "Dougley Lamarr" - and what led Michael Russo to almost blow up the other day - was his incredible unfounded arrogance as GM. Nobody insulted fans' intelligence more; nobody held more patronizing news conferences to insinuate that he, and only he amongst all NHL GMs and all questioning media members, was the owner of a functioning brain.

Russo hits it on the head, so I'll quote him:

At the news conference, Risebrough opened up with these words: “One of the things I regret as a manager not doing is managing the expectation a little bit.”

It was one of the most arrogant, insulting things I’ve ever heard from a GM that didn’t make the playoffs. It took every ounce of energy in me not to get the carving knives out yet again.

Want some contrast? Watch Edmonton’s Steve Tambellini at the Craig MacTavish press conference. He was angry, he raised expectations, he said everything needed to change, including evaluating the way things are done in the front office.

Risebrough? Expectations were too high. The fans need to be more patient. The media, especially that idiot at the Strib, doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

It is unacceptable to miss the playoffs. It is unacceptable to continue a philosophy where you don’t mind losing quality assets for nothing. It is unacceptable to not come to the rescue at the trade deadline when there are deals to be made.

People are paying real money to watch this team, and teams around the Wild are getting better. Somebody needed to stand up and say, “This isn’t good enough,” as I wrote two Sundays ago, and amazin[g]ly, Leipold did.

Believe me, that goes double for all Wild fans.

The first era of the Wild is over. Eight seasons, three playoff berths, and one trip beyond the conference quarterfinals in the playoffs. That's not good enough.

And now, the second age of the Minnesota Wild begins. How very exciting.

Friday: The Semi-Roundup

I'll cover the Dougley Lamarr firing in a separate post.

The Twins got waxed 9-2 and have now lost all three of their series this year.

The Wolves are done for the year, the Wild as well, and the Stanley Cup Playoffs aren't all that interesting yet.

The Champions League was in midweek and Arsenal won 3-0 to move onto the semifinals, but now have to get by Manchester United, and anyway that didn't happen yesterday so there's no point in covering it.

So: no real roundup this morning. I can tell you're not that sad.

Thursday: The Roundup

NBA: Sacramento 97, Timberwolves 90 - And mercifully, 2008-2009 comes to a shuddering close. Appropriately, the Wolves closed out the year by losing, at home, to the worst team in the NBA. Craig Smith led the Wolves with 18 points, Kevin Love closed out the year with 12 and 10 for his 29th double-double of the year, and Mike Miller actually took 11 shots. And since I know you're wondering, Rashad McCants had 14 points for Sacramento and was booed by the Target Center crowd. The Wolves finish the year at 24-58, tied for the fifth-worst record in the league. Apart from a 10-2 stretch in January, they were 14-56, which is unspeakably bad. Notably, the 24 wins is just two more than 2008, which was widely considered the absolute nadir for the Wolves. It wasn't a rebuilding year, just another bad one.

MLB: Toronto 12, Twins 2 - Remember how Scott Baker struggled all spring, and then he missed his first start with "shoulder stiffness," and we all hoped that it was an explanation for why everybody was pounding the supposed and newly-signed "staff ace"? Well, Baker gave up six runs in four innings, including an incredible four home runs. Presumably he'll be going back on the DL, this time with battle fatigue caused by his ritual slaughter at the hands of the Blue Jays. Phillip Humber also gave up three runs on five hits in just 1.2 innings, has an ERA over 12 so far this year, and is making everybody wonder if he doesn't actually belong on waivers. As for the offense, the Twins put together two runs and two hits in the first inning, and thereafter did absolutely nothing.

Wednesday: The Roundup

MLB: Twins 3, Toronto 2, 11 innings - Scott Baker had all of the "new-staff-ace" buzz entering this season. Kevin Slowey had all the "breakout-starter" buzz. And Francisco Liriano had all of the "finally-healthy-new-Johan?" buzz. But it's Glen Perkins who's come out of the gate pitching like he deserved all of the talk. The lefty has now thrown back-to-back eight-inning performances, allowing just two runs each time. Somehow, he's yet to get a win, but he slowed down a Blue Jays lineup that came into the game with only one member hitting under .300. If baseball had game balls like football does, Tuesday's would go to Perk. The Twins wasted plenty of chances again, and so it took them until the 11th to get the win on a Joe Crede double. (This was just after I said, "Crede, you suck!" for the fifteenth time. Shows what I know.) Crede blasted a slider off the center-field fence, driving in Justin Morneau all the way from first and giving the Twins a much-needed victory. (Incidentally, Crede still needs to learn how to celebrate like a Twin; he seemed vaguely embarassed and annoyed by the postgame celebration. He doesn't seem to quite understand how to follow Mike Redmond's lead yet - soon enough he'll learn to jump around like an idiot, hug random people in uncomfortable ways, take his pants off and wave them around, etc.)

NFL: Vikings' 2009 schedule released - The whole thing is here, and the story is... well, there really is no story, I guess. It's the schedule, it's not like it's real news. The Vikings open the year with trips to Cleveland and Detroit, a good chance to be 0-2 against two teams that combined to go 4-28 last year. In addition to their in-division games, they have home dates with San Francisco, Baltimore, Seattle, Cincinnati, and (for the fourteen hundredth consecutive year) the Giants; they'll make trips to Cleveland, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Carolina, and Arizona. Last year, they didn't play a single cold-weather game; this year, they get to go to Chicago three days after Christmas. That oughta be fun. Minnesota is also in the odd position of spending almost the entire month of November at home; after a November 1st game against Green Bay, they have a bye week, followed by three consecutive home games.

Twinkie Town: Comparing Gardy and Lemaire

Forgot a link to my Monday column at Twinkie Town yesterday. Jacques Lemaire is gone, having won only one division title, while Ron Gardenhire has won four, perhaps with more to come. I compare and contrast - and theorize on why the latter has been more successful than the former.

Tuesday: The Roundup

MLB: Toronto 8, Twins 6 - As usual, Monday's my day at Twinkie Town, so the recap is over there. While you were reading that sentence, the Twins pitching staff gave up two more hits.

NBA: Dallas 96, Timberwolves 94 - The Mavs needed a late comeback, and a Jason Terry jumper with 0.2 seconds remaining, to beat the hapless Timberwolves. If I'm a Dallas fan, I don't think I like my team's playoff chances. Craig Smith led the Wolves with 24 points off the bench; Mike Miller (18 points, 11 rebounds) and Kevin Love (10 and 10) had double-doubles for Minnesota, which took the lead in the third quarter and held it all the way until Terry's jumper.

Monday: The Roundup

MLB: Chi White Sox 6, Twins 1 - After starting the season's first Chicago series with a bang, winning 12-5 on Friday, the Twins pretty much sank like the proverbial lead balloon. Delmon Young provided Minnesota's only weekend run with a solo home run, and as if to atone for his success, he also struck out twice and hit into a bases-loaded double play, as usual helping to kill the Twins. Meanwhile, Nick Blackburn still can't keep Jim Thome from losing the baseball - the slugger went deep, just like in last year's one-game playoff - and Michael Cuddyer managed to produce an unearned run by committing two errors on the same play, booting a ground ball at first and then throwing wide of the bag. It started promisingly, but this weekend certainly ended badly, didn't it?

The Masters: Angel Cabrera wins playoff - As Sundays at the Masters go, this one was pretty extraordinary. First, you put the world's two most explosive players in the same group, send them off five holes ahead of the leaders, and watch the fireworks. Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods spent the first nine making birdies and eagles; Mickelson even tied a Masters record by dropping a 30 on the first nine. Eventually, though, both couldn't get it done on the second nine - Woods because he couldn't make a putt to save himself, Mickelson in classic Flameout Phil fashion - hitting the ball in the water at 12, then missing five-footers at 15 and 17. Phil finished three shots back, Tiger four, and though it would have taken final-round 64s for either to make the eventual playoff, they both had chances to do it. Meanwhile, Kenny Perry looked like he would cruise to his first major title. Perry began his round by making eleven straight pars, then birdied 12 and 15. While this was going on, his partner, the smoking Argentinian Angel Cabrera, was busy shanking and scrambling and generally booting the ball around the course. When Perry put his tee shot on the par-three 16th mere inches from the cup, his kick-in birdie put the 48-year-old -14 for the tournament, with a two-shot lead. At this point, the I'm-going-to-win-the-Masters light went off in Perry's head, and he immediately tanked. He skulled a chip on 17 all the way across the green, and made bogey. He drove the ball in the fairway bunker on 18, and made another bogey. And so it was left to Cabrera, as well as Texan Chad Campbell, to back into a playoff of which they should never have been a part. Cabrera, true to form, drove his ball behind a tree on the first playoff hole, then ricocheted his second shot off a tree and into the fairway, a hundred yards from the green. Meanwhile, Perry and Campbell hit drives down the middle, and were in position to go for the birdie and the green jacket. Said one viewer, "Doesn't anyone want to win this tournament?" Perry skied one short and to the right of the green. Campbell found the front-right bunker. Meanwhile, Cabrera got close with his pitch shot and made par, while Campbell couldn't get up and down, and only Perry and Cabrera went on to another playoff hole. On the ensuing 10th, Perry once again yanked his approach shot from the middle of the fairway, while Cabrera actually hit the green, and that was all he needed to become the first Argentinian winner of The Masters. First Mickelson and Woods, then Perry and finally Campbell, blew the tournament. Congratulations go to Cabrera for finding a way to be around to claim it.

Arsenal: Happy St. Totteringham's Day!

Arsenal's 4-1 victory over Wigan today means that the moveable feast of St. Totteringham falls on April 11 this year. The win keeps the Gunners 20 points ahead of Tottenham with just six league games left to play, meaning that for the 14th consecutive year, Arsenal will finish above Spurs in the league table.

So: Happy St. Totteringham's Day!

RandBall: Weekend Links

It's time once again for weekend links!

Friday: The Roundup

MLB: Seattle 2, Twins 0 - Remember Jarrod Washburn? The Twins were all set to trade for him last season, at a time when Washburn had a Guerrier-like ERA and couldn't find home plate with a compass. Moreover, to make the deal happen, the Twins were all set to eat the remainder of Washburn's ridiculous contract, one that is set to pay him $10million this year, for a guy who went 5-14 last year. The Mariners ended up balking at the Twins' offer (a minor-leaguer), demanding one of the Twins' young, cheap, promising starting pitchers in return. Even Bill Smith realized the stupidity of dealing someone cheap with potential for someone outlandishly expensive with no future, and the deal fell through. It was one of the single dumbest moves ever made by a general manager. Seattle fired everyone involved at the end of last year. I recount this tale, so you will understand this: THAT guy shut out the Twins for eight innings, allowing just five dinky singles along the way. One - ONE! - Twins batter actually made it as far as second base.

The Masters: Chad Campbell leads with 65 - The Texan became the first guy in Masters history to birdie the first five holes, then birdied 12-15 on the back nine before bogeying the final two holes to finish with a 65. This is the kind of round that John Huston always used to put up on Thursday; we'll see if Campbell follows the tradition by running into some sort of improbable disaster today. Huston would invariably end up having to hit his ball out of a gallery member's shoe, or bounce it off a marshal's forehead, or something equally unlikely. Eventually he would shoot 75 and quietly finished tied for 35th on the weekend. Pretty much everyone else in the tournament was under par - even Larry Mize, who's 134 years old - and so it should be mildly exciting tomorrow, as long as the weather's still good. Since I know you're wondering: Tiger Woods went out in even par, briefly got on a run by birdieing 13, 14, and 15, then ran out of gas and bogeyed the 18th for good measure to shoot 70.

Thursday: The Roundup

MLB: Twins 6, Seattle 5 - The Twins started this game by getting leads... which Kevin Slowey would then immediately give back. Justin Morneau's first hit of the season landed in the upper deck in right field, giving Minnesota a 2-0 lead in the bottom of the first, but Slowey immediately gave up a bomb to Russell Branyan that tied the game. Denard Span went deep in the bottom of the second; it took Slowey until the top of the fourth to give up that lead, as the Twins starter gave up another homer, followed in short order by four straight hits and a wild pitch, all of which plated a total of three runs. Finally, Slowey settled down - retiring the last seven hitters he faced - and the Twins strung together a lead they wouldn't lose, as Justin Morneau and Jason Kubel hit back-to-back two-out RBI doubles in the fifth. After Slowey came Craig Breslow, Jesse Crain, and Joe Nathan - a combo we may see often this year, especially since the three combined to throw three scoreless innings, allowing just one hit and one walk along the way.

NBA: Timberwolves 105, Golden State 97 - I guess we'd better accept it; the Wolves are not going to tank the rest of the season and end up with the #1 pick in the draft. Minnesota got 20 from Kevin Love and a magical 21 from Sebastian Telfair (who shot over 50% from the floor, and 3-6 from downtown, surely season highs in both categories) en route to a whupping of the hapless Warriors. Minnesota's now 24-55 with three games to go, and are virtually guaranteed to end up with the league's sixth-worst record. The ESPN lottery generator, nine times out of ten, thinks that the Wolves will end up with Brandon Jennings, better known as "the kid who skipped college a year ago to go to Italy to play pro for a year." I can't tell if this means that he has his head on straight, economically speaking, or that he's a me-first twit. Either way, I guess he's a point guard, which is good.

NHL: I suspect this will not live up to its tagline

So I get an email from the NHL on Tuesday that's emblazoned with the curious subject line "experience thePORTAL - Opening April 13". Well, thePORTAL certainly sounds exciting - but what is it?

Everything I've ever wanted? Everything I would want if I knew it could exist?

I didn't know a website could make Doug Risebrough admit publicly that he's failed as Wild GM!


(As for what thePORTAL actually is, I have no idea. The email linked to this page, which displays a video filled with jump-cut highlights and other random images. The only one that lingers for more than about ten frames is this one:



So I guess it has something to do with... uh... dishes? Good marketing, NHL!)

Wednesday: The Roundup

I missed baseball, didn't you?

MLB: Twins 6, Seattle 5 - Now that's more like the Twins we all fell in love with. Down two runs and down to their last out, Minnesota rallied back for one of the more improbable wins we're likely to see this year. The rally started when the Twins drew three consecutive walks off of Mariners closer Brandon Morrow, an inauspicious debut for the Seattle closer. Carlos Gomez worked a walk, Jason Kubel just had to stand there, and Brian Buscher got himself to first base as well. Denard Span followed with a Dome hit, a chopper off the concrete in front of the plate that didn't come down in time for Adrian Beltre to make a play at third base. Alexi Casilla followed that with a line drive to center field; two more runs scored, and - almost magically - the Twins had pulled off their first win of the season. Would that they all could be this exciting.

NHL: Wild 3, Dallas 1 - They're not quite dead yet, I guess; Billy "Miracle Max" Crystal would say that the Wild are "only mostly dead." I suppose it's too early to go through Minnesota's pockets to look for loose change, but not by much. Marian Gaborik scored again, and Owen Nolan and Eric Belanger added power-play tallies for the Wild. St. Louis won while Nashville lost on Tuesday, so here's the deal: Minnesota is three points back of both seventh-place Anaheim and eighth-place St. Louis, with two games for each to play. The Wild have to win both of their final two games, including beating Nashville in regulation on Friday; at the same time, they need St. Louis or Anaheim to lose both remaining games in regulation. Likely? Not remotely! But there is a very, very outside chance.

Champions League: Villareal 1, Arsenal 1 - Marcos Senna scored an absolute screamer for Villareal in the 10th minute, a 30-yard strike that left the Arsenal keeper with no chance. But Emmanuel Adebayor leveled in the second half with a stunner of his own. The Arsenal striker brought down a long pass with his chest, and in one fluid motion - before the ball even hit the ground - rose to scissor-kick the ball into the top far corner. The equalizer gives Arsenal the advantage going into next week's second leg of the match - the tiebreaker in these two-leg matches is away goals, the reason that every goal scored on the road is invariably greeted with the phrase "the all-important away goal." And so Villareal - wonderfully nicknamed "The Yellow Submarine" go into April 15 needing at least one goal. If Arsenal hold the visitors off the scoreboard on that day, they're through to the next round, no matter if they never even get the ball into Villareal's half. On the other hand, if Villareal scores two, Arsenal would need three more to go through. In other words: much is left to be decided.

Tuesday: The Roundup

I don't miss hockey any more - at least I didn't last night. Can we please have baseball games on TV every hour of the day and night, every day?

MLB: Seattle 6, Twins 1 - Monday's my day over at Twinkie Town, so I already got my recap in. Head over there for the whole thing (and three stars, too!)

MLB: AL Central Roundup - Not a good day for anyone in the division. Kansas City and Chicago lead the AL Central after one game - the Royals and the White Sox were snowed out on Monday. (Both teams remain undefeated.) They'll make up the game this afternoon, presuming, of course, that they don't get any more snow in the Windy City. Cleveland's Cliff Lee may have won the Cy Young last year, but he got hammered Monday, as Texas got seven off him in five innings en route to a 9-1 win. Toronto left fielder Adam Lind drove in six runs, as the Blue Jays waxed the Tigers 12-5. Justin Verlander gave up eight runs in 3.2 innings for Detroit.

Minnesota Thunder: USL Season Preview

Thunder fans: you won't find a better league preview this year than Inside Minnesota Soccer's USL preview. Brian Quarstad has put together previews from around the country - perfect for folks like me, who don't follow the rest of the teams in the Thunder's league.

Twinkie Town: 2009 Season in Review

Twinkie Town is trying out something a little more structured this year - on Mondays during the season, I'll be your host over at Twinkie Town, pretty much all day. Most Mondays, I'll have a new column up; on gamedays, I'll also be writing a preview, game thread, and postgame recap as well.

Today being Opening Day AND Monday, I've got a new column up, and it's an annual tradition: the 2009 Season in Review (six months early, of course.) Please stop over and give it a read - and join me later this evening for all of the Opening Day coverage you could possibly want.

Happy Birthday, TNABACG!

Just a site note: we reached a milestone over the weekend, and there's another one coming up this week, so I'm going to pull a President's Day and split the difference.

My first-ever post on this blog was on April 8, 2004; that was back when the blog was on LiveJournal. That post has been lost to the mists of time (well, not really, but it was bad enough that I don't want it public ever again.)

I muddled along, updating only occasionally, until 2007, when I decided to start posting every day. After three months of making it up as I went along, I started doing a morning recap-type post every day; my first "three stars" post (which eventually morphed into The Roundup, which now is usually the only thing I write each day) was on April 4, 2007.

Depending on how you look at it, then, this is TNABACG's fifth birthday, or possibly its second birthday in its modern era. I'd like to say, then - thanks for reading. I won't pretend this blog is particularly popular, but it's reached farther than I ever imagined it would, and there are those that have read just about everything I've ever posted - which at this point is more than 2,000 posts.

I appreciate your patronage; hopefully you'll continue to get your money's worth.

Monday: The Roundup

I'm going to miss hockey.

NHL: Detroit 3, Wild 2 - And so the season ends. It's hardly surprising that part of the reason was Marek Zidlicky. Zidlicky's defensive mistake with a minute to go in regulation led to a 2-on-1 for Detroit, and Marian Hossa slammed a wide-open slap shot home to give the Red Wings the win, effectively ending Minnesota's season. The Wild are three points out of the playoffs with three games to play, lose tiebreakers to everyone, and consequently would pretty much need three other red-hot teams to lose their final three games to even have a chance at the playoffs. There's almost no chance of that happening, so we might as well get used to the idea that the season's done for. It was an injury-plagued, wildly-disappointing year for Minnesota - and they enter the off-season with more questions than answers. Who will replace Marian Gaborik? Who will replace Jacques Lemaire, who's likely to quit in the off-season? Can the team figure out a way to lock Doug Risebrough out of the building? And so, it'll be at least seven years between playoff wins for the Wild - and at least one more year before they have a chance to break that string. 2003 seems like a very, very long time ago.

NBA: Denver 110, Timberwolves 87 - The Wolves had to rally from a 32-point deficit to get this close. Just remember: one game closer to the end of the season. One loss closer to better lottery chances.

RandBall: Weekend Links

Life is good; the Wild won 4-0, and once again I've fooled Rand into letting me post some weekend links. Even the Timberwolves won last night. Everything's really coming up Milhouse!

Friday: The Roundup

Somehow, it's been a long week - seemed like two years, or five years, or so.

Spring Training: Scott Baker goes on 15-day disabled list; Twins 7, Red Sox 3 - And now, both halves of the Twins' presumptive Opening Day battery are out injured. Scott Baker was placed on the disabled list with stiffness in his right shoulder, possibly caused by the battle fatigue that was caused by the violent explosions of opposing bats meeting Baker's pitches over the past couple of weeks. As with every injury, the Twins say they're just being cautious, but at the current pace they'll have six guys available to throw caution to the wind on Opening Day. Francisco Lirano is now your Opening Day starter; he made his last start of the spring Thursday against Boston, striking out three in three innings while surrendering a run on two hits and a walk. Michael Cuddyer doubled, tripled, drove in three runs, and is a virtual certainty to be on the disabled list by April 15.

NHL: Wild need the win tonight - St. Louis won last night, moving them to 85 points for the season. Anaheim also won, moving to 86 points. Though the Wild has a game in hand on both teams, those two results put Minnesota four points out of the playoffs, on 81 points, with five games to play, and the truth is pretty much now clear: anything short of five wins and the players are working on their golf games two weeks from now. It's Calgary tonight, at home, a team the Wild has yet to beat this year - and one that's in a battle for home ice in the first round of the playoffs, so it's not like they'll ease up against the Wild. We'll see which Wild team shows up; the one that does will be missing Brent Burns, Derek Boogaard, and Pierre-Marc Bouchard, all of whom may miss the rest of the regular season. Or, as they'll call it if they don't win tonight: the rest of the season.

Thursday: The Roundup

Quick note to the internet: For the most part (about 98% of the time), April Fool's Day hoaxes stopped being funny a LONG time ago. They are not funny and you are not funny. Please stop this stupid tradition.

World Cup Qualifier: USA 3, Trinidad & Tobago 0 - You really never know which US Soccer team is going to show up. Last weekend, it was the uncreative, not-quite-good-enough version that went south and drew 2-2 with weaklings El Salvador. Wednesday, it was the butt-kicking, name-taking version that went to Nashville and effectively destroyed T&T, thanks to three goals from youngster Jozy Altidore. Altidore finished off a great USA move by side-footing home a Landon Donovan cross in the 13th minute, killed off the game in the 71st minute by putting a defender on his backside before smoothly finishing, and then completed the hat trick by squirting a longer shot through the keeper in the late stages. And not only did he score thrice, the 19-year-old effectively re-invented the laws of physics in the first half by firing over an empty, gaping net from six feet away. (Seriously - you couldn't hit a golf ball over the net from where he was standing, and somehow his poke popped straight up in the air and landed on the roof of the net. How was that possible?) The victory puts team USA three points clear at the top of the group; somehow, they're the only team in this qualifying round with a positive goal difference.

Spring Training: Rays 2, Twins 1 - RA Dickey continues his push to make the club; the knuckleballer threw four scoreless innings, allowing just four baserunners and striking out three. Phillip Humber was slightly less impressive, allowing two runs in three innings and taking the loss. And at the plate, nobody was impressive; Matt Tolbert had two singles and drove in a run, and Alexi Casilla hit a double, and that was about it for excitement.

Wednesday: The Roundup

Toronto got a good deal on that boy. The scout said he showed a lot of promise. And the Leafs would rather have him playing with his toys than playing with - well, you know. (NOTE: second link audio not safe for anyone and should not be viewed.)

NHL: Vancouver 2, Wild 1, OT - Well, a point's a point, but that's not really what the Wild needed. I'm not really a firm believer in jinxes, but after listening to the Wild's broadcast team prattle on for about half an hour about the Canucks' lack of opportunities in the third period and overtime, I knew Vancouver would get the winner. The Canucks didn't get a single shot on goal in the third period, had to kill a penalty that extended ninety seconds into overtime... and then Henrik Sedin got the winning goal with one minute remaining, not long after Vancouver broke a streak of 24 minutes without a shot. Playoff hopes are therefore fading fast in the State of Hockey; faced with the daunting prospect of possibly having to win six consecutive games to get in, the Wild took the pressure off by losing the first one.

NBA: Dallas 108, Timberwolves 88 - The Wolves lost. Everyone, especially me, was busy watching the Wild instead. Kevin Love had 23 and 12, and otherwise, let's all just move on with our lives.

Spring Training: Roster becomes clearer; Twins beat Pirates 12-8 - With Joe Mauer starting the season on the disabled list, we now know who'll be the backup catcher - Jose Morales. The Twins sent down light-hitting, slick-fielding youngster Drew Butera, instead choosing to keep the decent-hitting, stone-handed Morales. (Look for stolen bases galore if he happens to play.) The Twins also sent down reliever Jose Mijares, who was dominant last September but who got sent home from his winter ball team and then spent the rest of the winter at International House of Pancakes. He showed up overweight, had trouble getting guys out, and now will be sent down to Triple-A to learn manners. As far as the game - the Twins got 19 hits, including a homer from Jason Kubel, and withstood a five-run Pirates rally in the ninth to get the win.