Timberwolves Summer Calendar

The NBA Finals are over - and so we look ahead, at some important summer dates for the Timberwolves (including a few that we may or may not have made up.) [T-Wolves Blog]

Joe Crede vs. Tony Batista vs. Mike Lamb

Over at Twinkie Town, I go inside the numbers to compare Twins third baseman Joe Crede to two of his predecessors at the hot corner - Tony "GAAAH!" Batista and Mike "OW MY EYES!" Lamb. [Twinkie Town]

(Note: later today, there'll also be a Twinkie Town discussion about statistics. Bring your graphing calculators! 1:00 pm!)

Weekend Links

Weekend links, we have a few. But then again, too few to ment- actually, no. We'll go ahead and mention them. [RandBall]

Friday at Wrigley

I'm filling in over at Twinkie Town today - starting with a quick comparison between landmarks from both Minnesota and Chicago. The game's at 1:20; around then, the game thread should go up, and post-game I'll have a recap as well. [Twinkie Town]

Oakland 4, Twins 3: Game Recap

Checking in just before midnight with a link to my game recap on Twinkie Town. Short summary: Anthony Swarzak can't throw a strike, and the Twins got beat again. [Twinkie Town]

"Why We Can't Hit On The Road," by the Minnesota Twins

The Twins explain* why they can't hit on the road. [Twinkie Town]

*NOTE: Not actually written by the Twins.

Weekend Links

Those weekend links keep rolling along. [RandBall]

On Hiatus

Summer seems like a good chance to take some time off from this blog.

For one thing, I'm tired of being a crank. It seems like 95% of my posts are nothing but barely-contained, childish outbursts, and I have to imagine that after awhile, this gets tiring to read. Even Pat Reusse breaks up his curmudgeonly side with the occasional human-interest story. Sitting around and pointing out the failures of others is no way to live. I love sports; they're fun to play and fun to watch and, most of all, fun to watch with others, and nobody likes the pessimist who is perpetually squawking from the corner of the room.

For another thing, posting every day makes me feel like I must post every day, and I'm not so sure that writing often isn't the enemy of writing well. I have been slinging down tripe lately, absolute bilge and complete balderdash, all in the name of having something to say. It occurs to me that writing just to have something to write, is nothing more than getting effect mixed up with cause.

A break, then, and for how long I can't say.

I'll obviously post links from the other regular sources; I'll be writing Monday columns and game recaps at Twinkie Town, and weekend links on Saturdays at RandBall, and I'll be writing once a week for the T-Wolves Blog as well.

I'll sign off for now; catch ya on the flip side.

GameDay Chatter Appearance

For those who missed it - which was nearly everyone, including me - I've posted the text of my AM 1500 appearance on Sunday afternoon. [Twinkie Town]

Weekend Links

At some point today, there will be links. [RandBall]

Listen Sunday for "GameDay Chatter," on AM 1500 KSTP

Just a note: at some point today, I'm recording a quick 60-second piece about the Twins front office for AM 1500 KSTP. It'll eventually be played as part of the the "GameDay Chatter" segment on the Twins Radio Network "Extra Innings" postgame show on Sunday afternoon, with Kris "Craig Applecherry" Atteberry and Jack Morris.

I'm not exactly sure when it'll be on, but if you happen to be near a radio on Sunday afternoon, I invite you to give it a listen.

RandBall: Commenter of the Week

Large voting irregularities produced my election as last week's Commenter of the Week over at RandBall. Appropriately, I then proceeded to use my 300 words discussing minor sports. You've been warned.

The Endorsement: Fran Tarkenton

I find it somewhat hard to believe that any readers don't know who Francis Tarkenton was, but to sum up: he's the greatest quarterback in Vikings history, and he's head, shoulders, abdomen, and upper thighs above any competitors. Minnesota hasn't really had a steady quarterback since Tarkenton quit scrambling in 1978, apart from Daunte Culpepper or maybe Tommy Kramer, and neither can hold a candle to "Fran", who retired as the NFL's career passing leader.

His #10 is retired, his fame in Minnesota is secure - and now, he's speaking for all right-thinking Vikings fans everywhere. The Athens, GA native was on 790 AM in Atlanta, and he had plenty of strong words for professional egotist Brett Favre. Here's what he had to say:

“I think it’s despicable. What he put the Packers through last year was not good. Here’s an organization that was loyal to him for 17, 18 years, provided stability of organization, provided players. It just wasn’t about Brett Favre. In this day and time, we have glorified the Brett Favres of the world so much, they think it’s about them. He goes to New York and bombs. He’s 39 years old. How would you like Ray Nitschke in his last year with the Vikings, or I retire, and go play for the Packers? I kind of hope it happens, so he can fail.

“He told the Packers, 'I’m retiring.' They’ve got to move on. They’ve got to go through their offseason plan, their workouts, they go with the other quarterback, who is a good player, and then he comes back and says, 'I think I want to play.' ... You build your team in the offseason. Everybody knows that. It’s about team. It’s not about Brett Favre. So he goes and runs up to the Jets, doesn’t even dress in the locker room with the players. Has a separate facility. Playing quarterback is about the relationships you have with your coaches, with your players, with your trainers, with your managers. How can you do that if you show up on gameday and you haven’t put the time in. And now he’s trying to do it again in Minnesota."

We wholeheartedly endorse Tarkenton's statement - all except the part about "I kind of hope it happens." Favre's self-aggrandizing, look-at-me act is one of the more repulsive cries for attention we've ever heard, and Tarkenton's words speak for all Vikings fans who haven't been blinded by some half-remembered John Madden bloviating from 1998.

Francis Tarkenton, we salute you. Please continue to make your voice heard.

The CW Report: May 27

It's time once again for us to take a closer look at the conventional wisdom...

May 27, 2009
Memorial Day has come and gone, and now summer's officially here. We're completely ready for all of the great things about summer - outdoor baseball! Cookouts! Long, lazy summer evenings, when the sun doesn't seem to go down until about 10:30! - while forgetting all of the horrible things about summer. Mosquitoes! Dew points in the 70s! Airless days when even flies won't leave the shade! Just kidding. Even the CW's not that much of a downer. Bring on summer!
	Twins hitting - Really, this is mostly because of Mauer who's hitting like steroid-era Barry Bonds right now. But Morneau and Cuddyer have been hot, Crede's hitting home runs... by the numbers: team leads league in OPS in May, and is second in home runs. It's like the 1987 Twins in here!
	Twins pitching - Baker was better, Swarzak's first start was good, Ayala and Dickey have been okay lately - but Liriano's still horrible, and only the disabled list can save Perkins. Barely one pitcher (Nathan?) on the staff right now that you'd trust to start a big game, or get an important out, though.
	Twins overall - Like 1987, they can't win except at home. Like 2008, interleague play might help save the season (3-0 so far). It's all ifs and buts, but if this team could put it all together for more than two straight days, they'd be five games ahead rather than five games back in the Central.
	Auto racing - TV ratings, sponsorship dollars, car company involvement all way down across the sport - whether NASCAR, IndyCar, or Formula One. CW wonders: is racing a niche sport that's just finding its level in a down economy - or a giant quietly dying?
	Minnesota Wild - You can't throw a rock without hitting somebody who's ready to praise new GM Chuck Fletcher. And he's thinking about hiring a former Gopher as coach! Someone still CW's quickly beating heart...
	Minnesota Timberwolves - CW can't quite tell what it doesn't like about David Kahn. Maybe it's just that he comes across as a jerk; maybe it's because there's no evidence he's better at player evaluation than the old braintrust. Either way: optimism is minimal.

Arsenal: Happy St. Michael's Day!

Today is a big day for Arsenal fans, especially for those who've been fans much longer than I. It's the 20th anniversary of May 26 1989, better known to Arsenal fans as "St. Michael's Day."

By way of explanation: Twenty years ago today, Arsenal beat Liverpool 2-0 at Anfield to clinch the 1989 league title. Due to the mathematics of that year's title race, nothing less than a 2-0 win would have done - and so Michael Thomas's goal in second-half stoppage time lifted Arsenal from second place to first, giving them the league title for the first time in 18 years.

It's hard to express, in terms we'd all understand, just how shocking and exciting this would be. It's something on the order of a full-court, buzzer-beating heave to win Game 7 of the NBA Finals.

Arseblog has more, along with this video:



So: Happy St. Michael's Day!

Elsewhere: The Cooper's Hill Cheese Rolling and Wake

Major news from Gloucestershire: the 2009 edition of the Cooper's Hill Cheese Rolling and Wake is in the books!

This year's edition went off without a hitch, by which we mean that nobody died. There were, however, enough major injuries that the races had to be delayed three different times while the bodies from previous races were cleared.

As you may remember from 2007 or 2008, this yearly tradition is one of the great sporting events in the world, and proceeds as follows:

1. A round, Double Gloucester cheese is released from the top of Cooper's Hill at the same time as about 20 young people begin chasing said cheese from the top of the hill.
2. The cheese bounces down the hill, eventually reaching speeds of around 70 mph and zooming off into the distance, never to be seen again.
3. The young people bounce down the hill at a slightly slower rate, eventually cartwheeling into the arms of paramedics, where they are taken off to the hospital to be treated for major injuries and extreme stupidity.

On to the video - which, naturally, includes long shots of all three stretcher cases.



5,000 people and a host of media showed up to watch. Truly, they do not have enough to do in Gloucestershire - especially the guy who raced in a jockstrap, and is likely waking up this morning with a fair bit of Cooper's Hill still lodged in his rear end.

The BBC also has video, along with the news that only several people had to be taken to the hospital, including one spectator who fell out of a tree (and then bounced fifty yards down a hill, one presumes.)

Chris Anderson of Brockworth won not one but two races this year. You may remember Anderson from his win in 2007, or possibly his win in 2008, when he couldn't claim the cheese until he was released from the hospital.

Anderson is certainly the King of Cheese Chasing, but unfortunately, he is retiring to spend more time with his remaining unbroken limbs and his two living brain cells, and so the 2010 race is still wide open. Other winners of a very international-flavored edition of the Cheese Rolling included Scott Beaven of Wales, Chris Geitz of Australia, and in the women's race, Michelle Kokiri of New Zealand.

Congratulations to all involved, especially those two or three competitors who made it down the hill with their bodies entirely intact.

RandBall: Weekend Links

At some point today, weekend links will be up over at RandBall.

Then he - and I - are taking off for the long weekend.

Wild, Timberwolves re-orient franchises

Funny how these things work; we went so long with no general managers, and suddenly two teams make hires on the same day.

The Wild will announce Pittsburgh assistant general manager Chuck Fletcher as the team's new GM today. Before we react, a key piece of information:

This is Chuck Fletcher.

We wouldn't have needed the picture had the Wild hired Pierre McGuire or Pat Quinn, but Fletcher's going to be the guy in charge of the franchise now, and we should at least take the time to learn what he looks like.

Three other things we should know about Fletcher:

1. His dad is Cliff Fletcher, who ran the Flames and Maple Leafs successfully in the 80s and 90s (and later failed in Phoenix, but so would have anyone.) Fletcher took over Toronto briefly last year after the team finally fired John Ferguson Jr., so between that and the younger Fletcher landing in the stew that Doug Risebrough has cooked up here, we know that neither is afraid of the occasional lost cause.
2. In the past, Fletcher has been responsible for negotiating player contracts and for player evaluation and drafting. I really can't think of anything else that a GM is responsible for, but you can make a case that Risebrough was terrible at both, so that's an upgrade.
3. Current Leafs GM Brian Burke absolutely loves the guy. As near as I can tell, this is the only strike against Fletcher.

The next step will be for Fletcher to hire a coach, then get down to the business of getting ready for the draft, which takes place near the end of June. Fletcher will have his hands full, but all indications are that he's up to the task.

And then there's the Wolves.

Owner Glen Taylor hired former Pacers executive David Kahn, and when we say former, we mean former. Kahn's been out of the league since 2002, and if it's one thing that the Timberwolves don't want, it's somebody with his finger on the pulse, I think we can all agree on that.

Here's a picture of Kahn, for the uninitiated:

This isn't fair.

Here's the real picture:

Might not be fair, but the resemblance is striking, isn't it?

Three things we should know about Kahn:

1. Between his Pacers tenure and this hire, Kahn owned a couple of D-League franchises, and if there's better training for running the Timberwolves, I can't think of it.
2. He once said in an interview that one of the proudest moments in his career involved engineering a deal for Jamaal Tinsley, who was forbidden from attending Pacers practices this past year despite being under contract. So: good one, right?
   
3. He was, at best, the team's fourth choice for the job, but the leading three candidates turned the team down. To say that this hire is underwhelming would be rather an understatement.

The next step for Kahn will be... actually, nobody knows. Taylor seems set on keeping pretty much the entire organization around, including acting GM Fred Hoiberg and coach Kevin McHale, so at the moment it's hard to imagine any real changes being made. And given that Kahn is a lawyer turned sports management guy, whose main strength is working on the cap and not evaluating talent, it's hard to see how this really helps the basketball side of the equation at Target Center.

One good hire, one bad hire. One fanbase excited, another one depressed (if Wolves fans can be said to be capable of getting any more depressed.)

Funny how these things work.

Twinkie Town: Twins vs. Sox

The Twins beat the White Sox by a football score on Thursday, and I was over at Twinkie Town, doing a recap.

Confusingly, I also ended up doing a late-breaking recap of Wednesday night's 7-4 loss. Pointless as this is now, here's the link to that as well.

Thursday: Searching for something positive

Nothing about the Twins this morning; we're trying to stay positive, a difficult feat following a seven-run inning.

The Saints also got creamed by Lincoln.

The Wolves not only don't have a new general manager and coach, they're out of candidates as well. The Wild, worryingly, are considering going with the status quo rather than in a new direction. The Vikings are participating in Organized Team Activities, which is just as paragraph-of-a-mortgage-contract exciting as it sounds.

The less said about the Thunder, the better right now - and every other minor-league team is out of season.

The moratorium on Gopher-related writing is still in effect, and anyway they had no events yesterday.

So: I've got nothing, at least nothing positive. Any ideas?

UPDATE 11:30 AM: So far this morning, we've learned that Cy Young Award winner Jake Peavy is headed for the White Sox, and that the Timberwolves are going to hire Indiana idiot David Kahn as their GM.

It just gets worse.

Minnesota Timberwolves: The bad luck continues

For the uninitiated: the Timberwolves once again came out substantially as losers in the NBA Draft Lottery. They were the team with the fifth-worst record; they'll pick sixth.

(punches self in face)

Adding insult to injury, earlier this offseason, the Wolves won a coin flip with Memphis to determine which would have the fifth-best chance of winning the lottery, and which would have sixth-best.

Of course - of course - the Grizzlies moved up to #2, and will get the chance to pick Spanish point guard Ricky Rubio, the player Minnesota so desperately needed.

(slams head in door)

This is the Wolves' 12th chance at the brass ring in the lottery; this is also their 12th straight failure to move up. They've never picked higher than third in the draft, despite being regular features among the worst five teams in the league, and despite a stretch from 1992-95 when the Wolves were one of the worst two teams four years in a row - yet never picked higher than third.

(knifes self in thigh)

Everyone seems to think Minnesota will take Demar DeRozan, who is a defreshman at deUSC. The scouting report on DeRozan is that he's obscenely talented but has a tendency to be lazy, which is always a good sign from a guy who knows he has a big payday coming up.

(stares hauntedly into space for 45 minutes)

...

But hey! Sacramento was even worse than us, and they fell all the way to #4! Just like we used to! So things could be worse!

Ah, schadenfreude. What else could get us through a day like this?

The CW Report: May 19

It's time once again for us to take a closer look at the conventional wisdom...

May 19, 2009
Once again, we're struggling to find any sign of an up arrow. Summer has a tendency to do that, sometimes; if the Twins are losing, then it seems like everything's headed downhill.
	Minnesota Twins - The team loses four straight to the Yankees, by a total of five runs, and leaves approximately eleven hundred runners on base in the process. This one's not attributable to just one person; this was a total team failure.
	Minnesota Timberwolves - STILL no general manager hired, with one more candidate off the list. The Wolves could very well begin 2009-10 with the exact same front office with which they finished 2008-09. CW on that: Blearrgh. (Lottery win tonight could turn this arrow around, though.)
	Minnesota Thunder - Bottom of the league after a home loss to the second-worst team in the league. CW kind of wishes it had an arrow for "way, way, WAY down."
	Minnesota Vikings - Organized team activities start this week - but all the talk will still be about Brett Favre, Antoine Winfield's collapsing contract negotiations, and the StarCaps lawsuit. On the bright side: they had the sense not to make a big push for a stadium to the already-strapped Legislature.
	Houston Aeros - Wild farm team makes a surprising run to AHL conference finals (though they're on the verge of getting swept there.) Possible downside: makes coach Kevin Constantine and assistant GM Tom Lynn much more attractive as big-club candidates, and they'd be LemaireAndRisebrough Mark II.
	Indy 500 - Confusingly long qualifying format presages race with perhaps two recognizable faces (Danica Patrick and possibly Helio Castroneves, who won "Dancing With the Stars" awhile back and recently nearly went to jail on tax evasion charges.) Some recognizable names - Andretti, Rahal, Foyt - but not the ones you remember from the 80s, and IRL does nothing to capitalize on the names. All of which is to say: didn't this race used to, you know, matter?

Twinkie Town: NYY 7, MIN 6

The Yankees beat the Twins on Monday night, 7-6 - and my recap is up over at Twinkie Town.

Twinkie Town: How bad is the bullpen?

Over at Twinkie Town, I take a look at the Twins bullpen's numbers, with the goal of answering one question: is Minnesota's 'pen the worst in the majors?